How to Effectively Correct Your Child without Ever Flogging Them or Yelling!
Can you figure out why you yell or flog your child? If you’re like most parents, it’s to correct them for doing something wrong right? Or because the bible said “Spare the rod and spoil the Child? Now, how come they still repeat that same thing you yelled about or flogged them for?
It is because the behavior has not been corrected in the first place. When you flog your child all in the name of correcting them, what you’re doing is pouring out your anger on them for disobeying you. You don’t flog because you want to correct…
You flog and yell because you are angry and don’t know how else to let out your emotions hence you resort to violent means… It’s not your fault entirely. Our parents did the same thing because they didn’t know better But it is wrong and I’ll show you why…
Let’s use ex-convicts as an example. They are sentenced to years in prison to supposedly correct the crime they committed. These people have been tortured badly in prisons for years.
But we all know that when they are released, nothing about their past behavior changes.
Most of them find themselves back in prison… If years in prison cannot stop an offender from repeating the offense, how do you then expect a few strokes to completely vanquish bad behavior? To my understanding, capital punishment does little or nothing to correct errors.
What it does is make your child smarter not to get caught. He’ll even be afraid of coming up to you when he makes a mistake or is confused… Because he doesn’t want to be flogged or yelled at… Then when they are finally out of their shackles and into the university, they will now bring those behaviors to the public…
Then you start going around saying that “My child has changed” and blame the society…
I guess you don’t want this to be your portion. So the question is; How do you discipline effectively?
The first thing you should do is “Understand that your kids will always be kids and are bound to make mistakes” To correct effectively, it’ll be very helpful if you find out the reason “why” they did what they did.
Please don’t interrogate them.
When you do, you’re giving them room to deny it or use the customary “I don’t know”
This will make you angry so much and take away your focus from the behavior you’re trying to correct. What you should do instead is to try predicting possible reasons that made them do it.
Then explain the consequences of the action and why what they did is wrong. And allow them to feel the consequences of their action. Let’s use a simple story as an example. Paige was playing with her friend when all of a sudden a fight ensues between the both of them.
Her mom calls her inside and is very furious at her for fighting. After a few minutes, she tries to predict why she was fighting by saying “I understand that maybe your friend started the fight or did something wrong to you which led to the fight”.
She acknowledges Paige’s frustration by saying “I understand that you were angry and it’s natural to react when somebody throws a fight at you or does something bad to you” She then explains the consequences by continuing.
But you didn’t think about the fact that something really bad would have happened in the cause of the fight…that you could have injured her badly and she has to be taken to the hospital or vice versa, or that fighting will affect your friendship with her.
Next time something like this wants to happen, think about what could happen if you fight with someone and move away. So for now, you won’t play outside until I am convinced that you have learned your lesson.
By so doing, whenever Paige wants to get into a fight, she’ll remember that something bad could happen and so, decline. Plus she doesn’t want to be banned from playing outside again.
Her mother has successfully corrected the behavior more effectively than any beating or yelling could have.
How to Effectively Correct Your Child without Ever Flogging Them or Yelling!
Can you figure out why you yell or flog your child? If you’re like most parents, it’s to correct them for doing something wrong right? Or because the bible said “Spare the rod and spoil the Child? Now, how come they still repeat that same thing you yelled about or flogged them for?
It is because the behavior has not been corrected in the first place. When you flog your child all in the name of correcting them, what you’re doing is pouring out your anger on them for disobeying you. You don’t flog because you want to correct…
You flog and yell because you are angry and don’t know how else to let out your emotions hence you resort to violent means… It’s not your fault entirely. Our parents did the same thing because they didn’t know better But it is wrong and I’ll show you why…
Let’s use ex-convicts as an example. They are sentenced to years in prison to supposedly correct the crime they committed. These people have been tortured badly in prisons for years.
But we all know that when they are released, nothing about their past behavior changes.
Most of them find themselves back in prison… If years in prison cannot stop an offender from repeating the offense, how do you then expect a few strokes to completely vanquish bad behavior? To my understanding, capital punishment does little or nothing to correct errors.
What it does is make your child smarter not to get caught. He’ll even be afraid of coming up to you when he makes a mistake or is confused… Because he doesn’t want to be flogged or yelled at… Then when they are finally out of their shackles and into the university, they will now bring those behaviors to the public…
Then you start going around saying that “My child has changed” and blame the society…
I guess you don’t want this to be your portion. So the question is; How do you discipline effectively?
The first thing you should do is “Understand that your kids will always be kids and are bound to make mistakes” To correct effectively, it’ll be very helpful if you find out the reason “why” they did what they did.
Please don’t interrogate them.
When you do, you’re giving them room to deny it or use the customary “I don’t know”
This will make you angry so much and take away your focus from the behavior you’re trying to correct. What you should do instead is to try predicting possible reasons that made them do it.
Then explain the consequences of the action and why what they did is wrong. And allow them to feel the consequences of their action. Let’s use a simple story as an example. Paige was playing with her friend when all of a sudden a fight ensues between the both of them.
Her mom calls her inside and is very furious at her for fighting. After a few minutes, she tries to predict why she was fighting by saying “I understand that maybe your friend started the fight or did something wrong to you which led to the fight”.
She acknowledges Paige’s frustration by saying “I understand that you were angry and it’s natural to react when somebody throws a fight at you or does something bad to you” She then explains the consequences by continuing.
But you didn’t think about the fact that something really bad would have happened in the cause of the fight…that you could have injured her badly and she has to be taken to the hospital or vice versa, or that fighting will affect your friendship with her.
Next time something like this wants to happen, think about what could happen if you fight with someone and move away. So for now, you won’t play outside until I am convinced that you have learned your lesson.
By so doing, whenever Paige wants to get into a fight, she’ll remember that something bad could happen and so, decline. Plus she doesn’t want to be banned from playing outside again.
Her mother has successfully corrected the behavior more effectively than any beating or yelling could have.
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